The 2nd most important decision you will make in your life is who you will enter into the covenant of marriage with. Think about it, outside of turning from your sin and trusting in Christ, what is more important? This one single decision of who you will marry will impact the remaining days of your life!
Seven years ago this week I married Angelia Brook Sisson. You can now call her Brook Sisson Taylor.
By God’s grace, these have been seven incredible years. Things have not always been easy. They have not always been fun. Our marriage has had its ups and its downs. But through it all, God has continued to pour out His grace in our lives through our relationship together and I can honestly say that I am convinced my wife is “more precious than jewels” (Prov. 31:10)
Tragically, society portrays marriage as a second class lifestyle that should only be pursued after one sucks all the fun out of singleness. With divorce rates skyrocketing and “shacking up” becoming more and more socially acceptable (sometimes even in the church), it is no doubt that marriage is being devalued in our day. I say this is tragic because I firmly believe one of God’s amazing gifts of grace is experienced in the context of marriage.I see this in Scripture and I see it in my own life.
Most would point to three primary purposes for marriage in Scripture…
- Procreation: In other words, babies are to be conceived, birthed, reared, and unleashed into the world through the marriage covenant. Remember, the first command from God came to the first married couple, “be fruitful and multiply.”
- Sanctification: Simply put, God’s purpose for marriage is not necessarily to make you happy, but to make you holy! One of the greatest lessons I have learned through marriage is that the covenant of marriage is God’s laboratory for my sanctification.
- Illustration: Let me explain, one of the clearest ways to demonstrate the Gospel to the watching world is for two Christ-followers to get married and embrace God’s counsel in Ephesians 5! That is exactly what Paul is referring to in Ephesians 5:32.
Now for all you single college students, I hear the question now…what about sex? Is sex not one of the purposes of marriage? Well, the answer is yes. We need to save this one for another blog post at another time, but I see the gift of sex in all three of these biblical purposes for marriage. For more on this pretty incredible gift from God (ie, sex) watch our Pastor, David Platt, preach on the book of Song of Solomon from a few weeks ago (video below)
So, what can you do now.
I would urge you to begin to prepare yourself to be an excellent spouse. I agree wholeheartedly with Kevin Deyoung that too many young people are praying for 17 things they want in a spouse, and not 17 things they want to be as a spouse. I would recommend THIS book for guys, and THIS book for ladies! Also, I heard someone tell me that in preparation for marriage, they are stalking other godly spouses to help equip them. I would do that, only to the extent that the law allows though (don’t want to encourage you right into jail!)
Also, final point and I am done, be wise in your decision. What I am trying to say is, dont go at this alone! Wisdom is in a multitude of counselors (Prov. 11:14). In other words, dont seek out a spouse (or be sought out by someone to be a spouse) in isolation. Lean heavily on your parents, pastors, and godly friends for guidance and accountability. Sadly many young people are blinded by lust and are unable to discern between a godly spouse and a fake. Dont be that person…proceed with Godly counsel.